Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Things I never thought I'd say

I've said so many things as a parent that I never dreamed would come out of my mouth. Here are some of the ones that immediately come to mind:

- We don't talk about our privates at restaurants.
- Showing nipples is only for inside our house.
- Stop kissing my arm!
- Get your feet off your brother.
- If you don't brush your teeth they will turn yellow and black.
- No more licking the shopping cart!!
- No you can't see my poop. (which led to an argument /boggle)
- Don't stand in front of the microwave because it has bad magic.
- Ariel is my favorite princess.
- If you stop crying I will stop yelling at you.
- Panties go INSIDE your pants.

What are some of the things you've said that you never thought you would?


Kris said...

Um...I don't think I can list some of mine.

Amanda said...

Eat your pizza (hot dog, potato chips, ice cream, etc) or you're going to bed!

Because molecules in the air scatter blue light from the sun more than they scatter red and yellow light

If I come into your room and you're having a rumba party you will be grounded

Just try a couple drops (that sentence doesn't even make sense but we all know what it means)

Boogers are our bodies taking out the garbage...we don't eat garbage.

Lahdeedah said...

You don't really want me to answer that?

Please put your penis away.

No, no don't beat your brother, mommy was just joking.

Go be sad somewhere else.

AHHHH GO AWAY and LEAVE MOMMY ALONE. (guess what they tell me all the time now...)

uh huh okay i'm not listening to you whining not listening i'm not listeennninnggg cuz you're whiiinnninnnggg

buh-bye buddies (and again, guess what they say now)

No honey, we don't say )#%*)#$Y crap truck anymore.

You go to heck-n-crap. (Seriously, where does a three year old come up with this?)

No, I don't think the cat did do it. (I'm supposed to believe the cat drank all the milk?)

And these are the tamer ones, because you KNOW the sort of demon ferret monkeys that were somehow switched with my good, kind, gentle sons... (SOMEONE who is four stepped on the cat today and laughed)

Lahdeedah said...

okay per request.

Honey, hold your penis when you pee.

Get your head out of the toilet, that's gross, now go wash your hands and f... lets have a bath.

We don't poop on the carpet.

Stop poking my chest.

Take your hand out of the pocket, that's not really a pocket (the hole flap thing in underwear)

Please don't put your car in there, either.

Yes, I know you have sneakers on, but you can't go outside without pants.

I can't make the snow go away.

Stop saying we're doomed.

and on and on and on....

RainyPM said...

ROFL These are great guys. Kris, come on, let's hear 'em.

I thought of another that worked instantly: If you don't put your seatbelt on right now the police will put you in jail.

Mark and Jana said...

A few that come to mind:

No, your poop is not an alligator and it's not going to get you.

My penis is not broken

If you don't start behaving you are going to go live at Boy's Town