I thought I told you not to leave your shoe on the road.

Lately I've been wondering about road shoes. What is their story? Why is there only ever just one? If your shoe fell on the road wouldn't you try to go back for it? I mean, losing one really ruins the whole pair. Maybe the owner didn't notice until it was too late.

But really - how can so many people not notice that one of their shoes is suddenly off their foot, out the window and on the expressway?

Anyone else ever wonder about these? I wonder if any of my shoes are sitting out on a road somewhere, alone and dusty.

National Unpredictable Toddler Day

A friend that I greatly admire watches children in her home and always seems to be doing something fun with them. Today each kid had their own personalized holiday to celebrate Make Up Your Own Holiday Day. Two Fridays ago they made miniature apple pies to celebrate National Pi Day.

Her good example inspired me to do something for Fly a Kite Day which was this week. Today dawned overcast and breezy, so I found our kite and took it outside for a fly. DD was very excited, having never flown a kite before. I got the kite launched and it immediately started doing that insanely fast figure-eight thing that kites do right before they nose-dive into the hood of your car. My daughter apparently thought the toy had morphed into a possessed spawn of Satan. Forget that it was an reversible Elmo-slash-Cookie-Monster kite. It was pure evil and she couldn't get away fast enough, screaming for me to "get it down," the whole time.

I wish I'd had the camera out there to capture her reaction to the kite's first flight. I had no idea she would think it was anything but fun. Relying upon my impressive parenting skills (which I have in ample supply, see previous pinching post), I kept flying the kite and making her watch. I was determined she would enjoy our kite flying bonding experience.

Here's some footage of one of the later kite flights (sorry for the wind sound blowing into the microphone and the wobbly filming. It's tough to fly a demon-spawn kite, stifle hysterical laughter, and hold a camera steady at the same time).



Maybe next year we can just color kites or something.

Shower-time Fun?

After two trips to Philadelphia in a 10 day period, my house and my children were a mess. The house could wait but my toddler hadn't had a bath in over a week and I think my baby had been due for a wash before we even left. I gave the toddler a bath and then took the baby in the shower with me. His boy bits needed some extra attention, and I had to rearrange them a few times to get to all the nooks and crannies. That's when I noticed he was grinning at me. I smiled back, but was disconcerted all the same. I don't remember my daughter doing this. So is it a boy thing? Am I over-thinking this? I'm wary of the pee fountain so diaper changes are VERY quick. But it's gotta get cleaned up some time. I just don't know if I can do it if he's there smiling at me like that, LOL. Most of you guys have boys. Do you have any advice for me on this?

These were a few of my favorite things

Tonight's the first time I've turned my computer on since last Friday and strange things are afoot. A new Google hotbar was installed, my browser history was deleted, but truly tragically: My bookmarks are all gone. GONE. g-o-n-e gone.

I feel lost and adrift without my bookmarks! How will my bills be paid? How will I spy on my co-worker's fertility chart? My links to the most uber vacation spots are gone, and so are all my links to baby shower ideas and baby gear I can't live without. My life will end if I don't have this gear and now I don't remember what it was!! I had a huge collection of links to great preschool curriculum ideas and now my daughter will just be stuck coloring in the Star Wars coloring book that she's afraid of. All of the books I was going to read were there, along with research for all the books I was going to write. There were links to doctors, friends' websites; even password reminders were cleverly encoded.

Just imagine for a minute if your Favorites list was lost forever...

Now go back it up.

What should the caption be?

A pinch to grow an inch

On St. Patrick's Day we were out of town unexpectedly and I realized I hadn't brought anything green for me to wear. That morning I pointed out to my daughter that I wasn't wearing any green and told her she could pinch me. She gave me a soft little pinch that didn't hurt at all, and then went looking for other people not wearing green. It was funny and there were only nice pinches.

Later that morning her brother woke up from his nap and I pointed out that he wasn't wearing any green. My daughter's face lit up and she came over to give him a pinch. I was nursing him at the time so my hands were a little tied up and I couldn't stop the MEANEST PINCH EVER. My poor baby stopped nursing and cried, and I was in shock. After all her nice pinches she totally pinched the heck out of a baby's thigh. I guess maybe she's got some hidden aggression towards him. I couldn't even be mad at her since I basically invited her to do it.

Score another one for me and my fantastic parenting.

I'm such an idiot

Every time I look at my blog now I want peanut butter m&m's. Good job, El.

Dear Peanut Butter M&M's,

You were there when I was pregnant and sick, single-handedly providing sustenance when no other food was tolerated. After I had the baby you didn't forsake me in the long, cold, lonely hours of the morning when I was trapped under the baby that wouldn't sleep anywhere else.

You've always been there for me, but now the time has come to let you go. I'm sure someday we will meet again, maybe by chance in a supermarket check-out line or deep in my daughter's seized trick-or-treat bag. Until then I need only look in the mirror to be reminded of our time together.

Yours truly,

Anyone else have a food they're in an "unhealthy" relationship with? :)

Is this cute or what?

Things I never thought I'd say

I've said so many things as a parent that I never dreamed would come out of my mouth. Here are some of the ones that immediately come to mind:

- We don't talk about our privates at restaurants.
- Showing nipples is only for inside our house.
- Stop kissing my arm!
- Get your feet off your brother.
- If you don't brush your teeth they will turn yellow and black.
- No more licking the shopping cart!!
- No you can't see my poop. (which led to an argument /boggle)
- Don't stand in front of the microwave because it has bad magic.
- Ariel is my favorite princess.
- If you stop crying I will stop yelling at you.
- Panties go INSIDE your pants.


What are some of the things you've said that you never thought you would?

Spring Training

Thursday was such a gorgeous day I decided to do a yard project I've been wanting to do since we moved in. It involves the strip of property that divides my driveway from my neighbor's driveway. I had the kids outside with me. DD was digging in the dirt I was working with and the baby was in his carseat next to the car. A couple of neighbor boys were next door playing baseball. There were just 2 of them, so it was mostly batting practice.

Next thing I knew it, I heard a baseball THUNK right on the roof of my car. I looked over at the boys who were both looking towards me. One of them opened his mouth and I listened for the expected apology. Instead he looked at his friend and said, "Not again."

I wonder how many times my car's been an unwilling participant in their baseball shenanigans. I told them they better start batting in a different direction (they weren't facing the car in the first place) but I don't know if that will help much. Oh, and don't tell my husband this story. He already doesn't like the neighbor kids (they sled on our yard, skateboard on our driveway, and ride bikes across our grass) and this would be the last straw. What do you do about neighbor kids?

Cloth vs. Disposable

When my daughter was a baby I used cloth diapers. I was proud of this, and have to admit it made me feel like a good mom AND a good person. The cloth diapers were ready to go for baby #2 and I was looking forward to using them again to save the world.

Then I found this website and put them away again. My state has had water restrictions since last summer, so it's actually better for the environment for us to use disposables. This is so counterintuitive!

Guess what else? Plastic bags are better than paper bags. More amazingly, disposable cups can be better than the kind you wash and gas cars can be responsible for less CO2 emissions than electric cars.

How can we know for sure what's best for the Earth? It seems like Green living is becoming more and more of a Grey area.

How do you know if you have an ugly baby?

As a parent, can you truly know if your baby is ugly or not? I'll be honest and say I think most new babies are a little on the wrinkly and scrunchy side. Like baby monkeys or miniaturized old men without their teeth.

Whenever I go out with my 7-week-old baby people tell me how beautiful he is. Do they really mean it or are they bound by social conventions to say he's cute? Of course I agree, but I'm spell-bound just watching my son breathe. His gas smiles have made me cry because I think he's so beautiful. Clearly my opinion on this can't be trusted.

At 7 weeks my poor little guy has baby acne like a teenager, a cradle cap mask around his eyes like a little flaky raccoon, his hair is oily the same day I wash it, he lolls with his tongue out, and his earlobes are noticeably hairy.

He's the most gorgeous baby in the world.

For fun, here's a link to Kramer's reaction to an ugly baby on Seinfeld.