Thursday, February 28, 2008


I'm not a supermom, but I have developed some superpowers since I became a parent:

Super Hearing: No matter where I am in the house, I can hear the binky drop out of my almost-asleep infant's mouth.

Dodge: I can carry my flailing, tantruming 3-year-old to her room without being hit or kicked.

2 Minute Meals: I can make an arguably balanced meal for three people in 2 minutes. Eat your heart out Rachael Ray!

Mind Reading: I know when my toddler has misbehaved. Of course, it helps that she always instructs me "not to see," anything she knows she'll get in trouble for.

Locator: I know where all of the parts of all of the toys are in the entire house at any given moment. I can also find DH's keys, wallet, and shoes at any time. Not to mention sense the location of my OWN keys when DH accidentally takes them to work and refuses to look for them there ("I couldn't possibly have taken your keys.")

Food Source: Actually, I think this is pretty cool.

Jedi Mind Trick: I can still convince my toddler to fall asleep for a nap most days. "This isn't the nap-time you are looking for."

Zombie Mom: I can shape-shift into Zombie mom when I've been up with the baby for too many consecutive nights and denied all naps. Zombie mom can competently care for a toddler and baby while barely moving or speaking or forming a coherent thought. Unfortunately, Zombie mom can't be relied upon to make rational decisions. Letting kids watch 7 hours of Dora the Explorer is fine with Zombie mom. Zombie mom also microwaved her own eyeglasses in a bottle sterilizer after they fell in the toilet.

What superpowers have you discovered since you became a parent?

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