Thursday, July 06, 2006

A Real Trip

I used to write home about all of the embarrassing things that happened to me. My family would like this one -

I was putting gas in the car and decided to step over the hose and wave to my daughter in her carseat in the backseat. I cleared one leg, but my back leg hooked on the hose and I started falling. I kept shaking it and raising it to get it loose, but it wouldn't come free!

So not only am I tripping in a gas station with all these people around, but I'm also terrified that I'm going to rip the hose out of the car and spray gas everywhere. At the last second when I realized I was going to fall for reals, that all the leg manipulations weren't going to free my leg, I saw the luggage rack on top of the car and grabbed for it. I got it!

I held on for dear life, and managed to hang on through my impact with the side of the car. I ended up face flat against the car, dangling from my one arm, foot still caught on the hose.

My daughter wasn't the only one laughing at me.

It was okay though - because I had the most embarrassing moment of my life in high school, and I don't think I will ever top it. I was lined up to get the rebound from the other team's free throw at a big high school basketball game. I thought I saw her shoot the ball, and started to go into the key. She hadn't let it go though, and I didn't want her to get a free shot. I figured if I kept my feet on the floor I could lean in a little and catch myself on my feet a second later when she shot.

She never shot the ball.

I just slowly...
fell into the key and landed on my hands.

My coach fell off the bench laughing. Everyone in the stands was laughing. They had to stop the game because the refs were laughing. The girl didn't make her shot because she couldn't stop laughing. The coach got it on VHS and played it for all his classes. The whole school laughed.

At least after all that I don't get truly embarrassed by things. Tripping at the gas station is so minor. Nothing can top my whole hometown laughing at me.

-Not when I forgot to buckle my belt or do up my zipper and walked in front of a full auditorium of students when I was in college.
-Not when I fell in a parking lot walking to lunch with my co-workers and landed sprawled on my belly.
-Not when I was trying to be cool talking to a guy in the mall and walked right into a pillar.
-Not when I tried to jump over the wet concrete patio stairs at my house and whacked my head on the overhang and landed on my back in the front yard.
-Not when I was boating with a guy I was trying to impress, and as I smiled at him over my shoulder getting off the boat I missed the dock entirely and fell right into the lake.
-Not when I was trying to cross an icy parking lot entrance on foot and kept falling so many times I finally had to crawl the rest of the way in front of a whole bunch of gawking drivers.
-Not when I sent a kiss-up email to my boss and accidentally copied the whole company on it.

And that's not even all.

1 comment:

Lahdeedah said...

I remember the email MUAHAHAHAAA and the fall.

I once complained at a hotel that someone took a dump in the bathroom, stunk up the place and read the newspaper. Turns out, the newspaper was free and just put in messy, and the stuff that smelled like someone's dump.... was cleaning spray.

It DID smell that bad. It was HORRID. But I was sooo embarassed, and happily, will never be there again :).

I blame the unusual response on my part on stress. Gawd it DID smell awful though...

Next embarassing moment:

Was on an Army base attending a conference. The buildings were old and all looked the same. I went in to a building, up to my room, and opened the locked door with my key and found... five men in boxers. Studying. They were army guys yessiree, buffy army guys in underwear, literally underwear... all brunettes and tan. That much I got. Anyhow, I was young enough to appreciate the moment, but boy was I confused, and embarassed and mortified. So I just stood there, with my brown grocery bag, and said "I don't think I have the right room" and they laughed and said, "no I don't think so" they being one, but all interchangeable. But that's not good enough. I looked at the door, and the key, and said more. "Well I have the right key." and one said "But the wrong building." DOH.And then went on "Huh. I guess my key works in other buildings too. um well bye." laughter. laughter.

I think the first was more embarassing. The second was highly embarassing at the moment, but the sot of embarassing moment you don't mind in life.