Monday, May 26, 2008

Redneck Ninjas

So many blog-worthy events and so little time! Everyone (well, except me) in the house is asleep right now - 8:30am on a holiday morning - so let's see how much I can catch up before the "I'm hungry" whine-fest begins.

See if you can tell what's different in these two photos:

If you noticed that in the second photo the lawn has been mowed, the hose put away and the front steps cleaned up you'd be wrong! Because the hose was merely MOVED to another part of the lawn. What you're SUPPOSED to be noticing is the absence of the hideous shrubs that used to flank my doorway, like green, overgrown, poorly placed guards. The only thing they were good for was holding up some Christmas lights. Now you might be thinking that my house looks a little bare without them. A little naked and vulnerable. I agree, so help me think of what I should plant there instead. I was thinking maybe azaleas, but there are so many options!

Those of you that know my husband might be wondering who transformed my house, because you know that it was NOT him. He didn't even move the hose. He didn't even CALL the guys that moved the hose. There were two of them, and although they call their business Robin's Nest, I think they should rename it REDNECK NINJAS. Seriously! They got here in their truck with cigarettes dangling from their lips to do a little bit of siding work for us. They asked if there was anything else I needed to have done, and of course I keep a mental "Honey Do" list (so optimistic of me!). Before I knew it they had not only taken out these front door shrubs, but 4 more just like it AND the rotted half of the tree in the front yard.

I only have one regret, and that is not taking better photos of the redneck ninjas. One was at least 65 and I swear he climbed straight up my tree like a monkey with a CHAINSAW! He was the tree man, and below I've got a shot of him with his CHAINSAW. The other guy was the hawtness of the operation. There was some serious testosterone going on at my house. I mean, just look at the way he's holding that rake behind the tree! (Sorry for the bad picture, but I felt kind of dumb taking pictures of them while they were working and I was drinking lemonade and looking at a magazine in my cool living room. So I pulled back a curtain and took this photo through the window.)

So when all was said and done they only charged me a third of what I was told it would cost JUST to have the rotting tree removed. This is the opposite of what happened to my brother in Belgium who called a guy to help him trim his hedge and got charged over $1000. My poor, angry brother - you need to come live here so Redneck Ninjas can trim your hedge for some pocket change while you have a BBQ at my house and I take sneaky pictures of men wielding chainsaws.


Lahdeedah said...


I LOVE that post.

And that's why you need to be ninja photo mom, able to sneak pics of Hawties the moment they aren't paying attention. For instance, cut a whole in your magazine that you're reading, for the lens to peek through....

i'm just saying...

shay said...

I stumbled across your blog and I love it!
Your post was too funny! Redneck ninjas?! hahaha!

I don't have any ideas for you as I'm a newbie myself but I do think it looks tons better! Maybe some tall planters?