Tonight I made spaghetti with sausage for dinner. I asked Liv what her favorite part was and she said, "The sau-shits."
After telling Olivia the reason we have Easter she asked, "Why do we find eggs for Jesus?"
Liv: "I'm putting my tongue-lick in the baby's hair."
When I asked her why she was pulling out her hair:
Liv: "I'm picking flowers for you Mama."
Me: "Um, that is really gross, Please. Stop."
Liv: "Here, smell my hair flowers."
She wanted to know where crocodiles live so I told her in Florida. She looked at me and said, "like Florida, Fauna and Merriweather?"
After she watched a gang drive by on their Harleys, Liv said, "When I get bigger I want to be a motorcycle girl."
Liv (in tears): "If I go to college, who will be my mama?"
Our lesson at church this Sunday was about temples and I asked the kids what they think about when they see the temple. Liv said, "I think about the temple with flowers and a unicorn flying in the sky."
Liv: Do I look like a ballerina sheep?
Liv: When I get bigger I'm going to swing on vines in the jungle.
The other day I took the kids to Target and was trying to explain to my daughter what an air freshener was, since we haven't really had one before. She cut me off and said, "You mean like Air Wick?"
Who says kids don't learn anything from television?
Today I had the kids out shopping with me and had this conversation:
Liv: I think someone is at our house right now stealing our jam.
Fortunately when we got home, our jam was safe and sound. You know what kind of shenanigans those jam thieves can get up to.
Liv: Why did God make Barbies?
My daughter has been fretting lately about death (and college). Primarily because she is worried about not living here with me any more. So a few days ago she said: “Mama, when I die I want you to drive me to heaven.”
I told her I would.
The other day Liv made a birthday card for her dad and when she finished I asked her to tell me about it. She told me it was a llama belly and a stripper. (And no, she doesn't know what a stripper is, she made up a word for a bunch of stripes.)
Liv: Mama, who will I marry?
Me: I don’t know sweetie. A nice boy.
Liv: Like Dad is a nice boy?
Liv: I need someone to be like a twin to Dad so I can marry him.
Olivia has a strawberry shortcake friend doll called Ginger Snap.
I just noticed that she calls her "Ginger Snatch."
When asked what we could do to think about Jesus more this Christmas Olivia said:
"Daddy could wear white and dress up like him."
Liv: The only way I can rest my eyes is by watching a show when I’m laying down.
Liv: We shouldn't cut things off our body, right?
Liv: "When I drink water it goes into my brain, but chocolate milk goes into my tummy."
(trying to convince me to give her chocolate milk instead of water)
I’ve been trying to explain to Olivia that I work so I can earn money.
The other day she came over to where I was doing some work on my laptop and said, “Can you show me where the money comes out?”
Liv: "When I eat the last bite that means it’s all gone."
I overheard Olivia tell her little brother, "Parents are kind of like servants. They bring you stuff and sometimes do a show for you."
Liv (during breakfast) – What if we were hand eaters?
Me: You mean what if we ate with our hands?
Liv: No, what if we were haaaaaand eaters?
Me: I am not sure what you are talking about.
Liv (sounding exasperated): What if we ATE HANDS?
Me: Well, I think that would hurt.
Liv: Not OUR hands.
Me: Whose hands would we eat?
Liv: Bad guys’ hands. Then they couldn’t hold their guns.